ME: Did you listen to the song yet so I can tell you my story?GRACE: yesME: OKME: So I was in a car accident yesterdayGRACE: what?The spectacular three-car pile-up was the weekend before Memorial Day weekend in Springfield; my IM conversation with Grace, that Monday at work in Chicagoland.
OK, so you're not really supposed to converse about the details of a car accident with anyone other than the police and your insurance agent. But I don't really remember the details: One minute I was stopping behind a car at a stoplight. The next, I was crashing into it. And in the week-or-so since, the more I'm able to unravel the 120 threads that immediately began spooling in my thoughts, the more The Car Crash Story has become slightly less tragic and actually a little hilarious. That's grace.
At the time, the whole thing was just incredibly disorienting because (1) I didn't realize I was crashing and (2) I took a real wallop when I did because I drive a
tiny Volkswagen Bug. I crashed, and then I was face to the steering wheel, seatbelt wrapped around my neck, my car filling with smoke, trying to figure out what just happened. Actually, I believe my first thought was, "Something ... something ... time machine ... WHAT IS THIS WHITE THING, AND HOW DID IT GET IN MY CAR?!!"
The white thing was the passenger-side airbag.
It took me a while to figure that out through the smoke and the gratuitous amount of chalky dust the airbag shot into my face, shrouding everything inside my car in a blanket of white. Which made me pretty sure for a fleeting second that I was dead. I'm dying and I'm dead. I've died. Which should make you think of C.S. Lewis'
The Great Divorce, because that's what being pretty sure I was dead made me think of. That, and how much I hate buses and what "shining figure" I knew in life would come to pick me up at the bus stop and accompany me to heaven proper. (This is where a working knowledge of the book's
plot may come in handy.)
That figure apparently would be my friend Lewis, who is an incredibly talented musician. I'd just uploaded a bunch of music from
his new Web site onto my iPod before my long drive down to Springfield ...
ME: And then what comes up on my iPod's shuffle, but this songME: And I'm like, "Lewis? Lewis is coming to take me to heaven?"ME: ME: "Of everyone that I met during my lifetime, JOEL'S ROOMMATE is the one that comes to take me to heaven? REALLY, GOD?!!"ME: Then my car started making a hissing noise and I realized I was still alive and jumped out. The End.ME: wow
ME: When you die, Lewis comes to take you to heaven
Outside the car, I had a fleeting moment of excitement when it occurred to me I had SINGLE-HANDEDLY SHUT DOWN INTERSTATE 55 (allegedly). Until I realized that was NOT A GOOD THING.
It didn't take long for police to arrive on the scene. Then a fire truck. And an ambulance. AND, because Springfield is such a small town, everybody's families. And one of the fireman was the brother of a girl in my high school class. Really small town. Both my parents, my sister Annie and her longtime ... um, "man friend" Brian all closed ranks around me, apparently looking very small and scared and sore and even more like a 16-year-old than usual in the midst of the commotion I'd caused (allegedly ... I'm a reporter; I write this stuff in police reports every day).
After everybody else drove off and my smushed Bug was towed away, my dad took me to rent a car so I could drive back to Chicagoland that night. Apparently, in all of Springfield, there were only three cars for rent: a Cadillac, a Ford Explorer and a Dodge Magnum, which seemed like the smallest and least gas-guzzling of the options.
In reality, this thing is a hearse. There is no earthly reason to drive a car this big and black that does not involve transporting bodies. It is so long, it literally hangs out past any sports utility vehicle, minivan or pickup truck parked in a lot. Every spot in this car is a blind spot. Also, it has Michigan license plates. Michigan plates beginning in "B-E-D" and ending in a random series of numbers. I think my mom even may have teared up when she saw me behind the wheel, even smaller and more scared and looking like it was my first day with a driver's license.
But the worst part of the car accident is that now everybody thinks I am from Michigan, and I am a sleepy Michiganer ... Michiganite ... Michiganian ... ?
GRACE: i feel like your life is like that movie... across the universe
GRACE: that's what i imagine your life to be like
ME: LOL
ME: Why?
ME: Because I do a lot of drugs and randomly burst into song?
ME: Or how am I supposed to interpret that?
GRACE: just
GRACE: that your life is set to song
GRACE: and i imagine lots of swirly colors around
GRACE: and it's trippy music
GRACE: not justin timberlake
GRACE: lol
Comments (3)
First things first - girl I'm glad you're okay! Second thing - you crack me up!! The bit about Lewis taking you to heaven is hilarious.
This is so weird that you have a car crash story since I was nearly in a massive pile-up on I-24 this morning. SUV w/ trailer is jerking all over the lane next to me and just ahead...I go to pass him...the second I pass him he swerves into the lane behind me, and then I can see him spin out across 3 lanes of traffic and stop the interstate cold. I barely squeaked by that along with 3 other cars. I don't really dig close calls you know?!
I am inclined to agree w/ Grace...I think your life must be a lot like a movie.
Did I tell you my brother is moving to IL??
so many questions: Is poofu me dead or just hospitalized? did you cause the accident? did you make it into the sj-r? was it lisa's brother who saved you from the wreckage? are you still feeling ok? I know sometimes pains come up a few days after accidents...details please!
@randominity14 - So many answers(!): Hospitalized ... still. No comment in a public forum such as The InterWebs. Yes, Google it; That was a humbling discovery. Yes, although I don't think he recognized me. And the next day I felt like I was the one in pieces; How'd you know?